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n/a, Male
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Level 58 Blank Slate
Deity Whistle
Ranked as Sup. Commander

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No More

2011-03-24 11:00:32 by Jake

I hate every single thing about this account. I hate the massive level icon, I hate the perfect B/P rank and, most of all, I hate the ideology and state of mind behind all of this.

This account, to me, represents too many years of wasted time. I could've spent that time learning to play my favorite music, working harder to get better grades, going to parties with friends, working on my admittedly awkward social skills, actually acting upon my own thoughts and ideas...

The list goes on, and it goes on too far. When I was 17 years old, I got a part-time job and left this place almost indefinitely around the same time. I simply didn't have the time to keep coming here and messing around in the Flash Portal. It'd be tough to give up the focus I had on my NG stats, but I had to if I wanted to stay sane. I gave the account to a good friend and had him deposit for it, for which I am most grateful. This same friend still deposits on the account, and at this point he may as well keep it. I lurk the BBS on a different account now, one that doesn't have as much backstory and a much more innocent past.

Since I've left this site (aside from the occasional lurking and posting I mentioned above), I've gained a massive amount of confidence in myself, to the point where I believe I've changed almost completely for the better. I had an on-off girlfriend since I was 16, and I finally had the nerve to tell her to back off and find someone else to manipulate. I've gained a considerable amount of muscle, I've got an active social life and I taught myself to play bass and guitar within less than a month of practice and research. A lot of other bad things have happened, but my new attitude tells me that a positive way is the only way to move on and stay sane through the difficulty of these times.

I have no resentment for NG. If I did, why would I still come here and browse the forums? It's a great site, and there's a lot of fun games and cool people here. I just can't stand to look at this account because of what it symbolizes to me. Having said that, I will no longer be posting to the BBS under this username. If you're observant enough, you'll find my other account, but I don't really care if you never find it. I made it for my own purposes only. Nothing more, nothing less.

Farewell, my companions. For the few of you that I have contacted on this other account, please do keep in touch. It's nice to hear from old friends. Aside from that, I have nothing else to say here. Feel free to use this blog post as your own personal dumping ground for whatever you decide is necessary to dump.